Accountable Monday (Written on a Friday)

Okay, so i'm not so good at this 'blogging thing'. So sue me!

I am however still staying accountable so i'm going to be happy with that and it has been a very very busy and emotionally draining week so I think I deserve to give myself some slack.

Last week: 73.4Kg
This week: 72.7Kg
Loss: 0.7kg

I'm happy with that. I actually had a really good week in terms of my exercise and eating and then Saturday came.... ah Saturday. Now lately Saturday has not been being my nemesis. I've been pretty in control really. Until... my boyfriend and I had an argument which ended in me going out and drinking and then eating more at about 3am when I got home.

I managed to be relatively sensible... I drank vodka and diet coke (so 1 point bevvies) and when I got home I ate lamb in bread instead of maccas... so a healthier choice at least.

The end result of all of this was that on Sunday I brought up the conversation that I wasn't happy in the relationship and I felt we were being nasty to each other and needed to rethink where we were going. We decided, on Monday night, that we were going to call it quits and work on being friends.

Basically, i've decided to leave the country, which puts strain on our relationship and neither one of us wants to do long distance. We're hoping that by staying friends and having things end on a positive, rather than acrimonious, vibe that there might be a chance we get back together one day and give it another go!

Only time will tell.

Since the break-up i've been doing pretty well. I'm not as motivated in my exercise routine, so i've been cutting myself some slack there, and just focussing on my eating and on trying to do a few active things this week. My loss will be small, or i'll stay the same but as long as I don't gain (fingers crossed) i'm okay with that!

Next week however, i'm going to put an end to my 'express and feel your emotions week' and get back into my normal routine of weights and jogging. I think ultimately i'll be helping myself emotionally if I do get back into routine.

Anyway, this was the week of icky feelings, so i'm proud of myself for the things i've done well!

Ciao
xoxo

Accountable Monday (Written on a Friday)

Last Week: 74.3kg
This Week: 73.4kg
Loss: 0.9kg

2 x Weight Class, 2 x Exercise Video, 1 x Jog

I'm happy with the loss this week but really could have done much better with my exercise.

I'm not unhappy with my exercise because I think I should be doing an hour a day or anything. I'm just not one of 'those' people and don't think I ever will be BUT I want to start having goals that don't have to do with numbers on a scale. Partially because I've got an addictive personality and I can see myself becoming a little obsessed and partially because if this is a 'lifestyle change' and not a diet, I don't want to be chained to the scale forever.

So:

I've decided to try and turn myself into a runner. Not a marathon runner but just someone who can say, "oh yeah, I run" and mean more than, "oh yeah, if someone was chasing me I would run away". I've been reading a few blogs about people who are also trying to lose weight and starting to run and they're really keeping me motivated!

In terms of my non-weight loss goals (which I mentioned in last weeks post):

Call the garden man
Call the real estate agents and start getting my house ready for renting
Start packing some of my stuff
Organsie my laptop situation

I can now say that I DID THEM... ALL OF THEM. Yay me!! But I'll also admit that I did them on Wednesday so really if my accountable Monday post was actually written on MONDAY, this would have been a productivity FAIL. I've decided to not sweat the small stuff and still consider it a win. ha

As an additional note I wanted to say that I'm adding 'weight loss books' to my repository of motivation. I ordered three and one came through two days ago. It's called "The adventures of Diet Girl' by Shauna Reid and it was great. The woman is an inspiration and I got a lot out of the book. I love her take on weight loss, which is basically: try to make healthy choices when you can and don't let your weight hold you back. She, like me, loooooooves food. All food. It's great to read about someone that has lost weight and is happy and still eats ice cream, cheese and all those other yummy things. I can't wait until I too am 'Moderation Girl'.

Anyway, I better run!

Accountable Monday

So this weeks accountable Monday is going to prove why I do this... Because I didn't lose a thing!

Last Week: 74.3kg
This Week: 74.3kg
Loss: Nada, nothing, zilch

Workouts: 2 x weight sessions, 3 x walk, 1 x walk/jog

The walks I did were either very long or short and hard so i'm not completely sure why I didn't lose this week. I walked for hours and hours and hours and at least twice I did a hill/stair climb style walk (I took my puppy through the creek which is very hilly and has some nice big stairs).

I got sick on Saturday and have been bloated and nauseas ever since (I can really feel the bloat in my belly, which is unusual for me). So i'm putting my lack of loss down to that, mostly... although the vodka and pear cider wouldn't have helped i'm sure (but I tracked it and was not over points!).

Unfortunately the sickness I experiences coupled with my back pain (another new and annoying development) meant I didn't do any exercise on Sunday like I hoped to. I'm all stocked up on panadol now though and I have made a doctor's appointment so it wont be an excuse this week!

So since I didn't lose i'm going to look at what I did well this week:

- Kept to my points on most days and didn't go over for the week
- Tracked every day
- Took healthy snacks and meals with me when I went to Melbourne so I wouldn't use 'being away from home' as an excuse to not follow my healthy eating routine
- Chose a 'healthy' option when I went out to dinner with the family
- Came out with left over points for the week due to not using my activity points
- Drank, in moderation, and didn't go nuts with the junk food post my drinking
- Went to a friends house for dinner (hi Tash) and we went for a walk while we caught up instead of sitting on our behinds
- I didn't gain!

I had a great week and weekend though. I had to do some exams, which is never fun, but now that i've done them i'm one step closer to getting my UK nursing registration! Yay!

I got to go out to dinner with my family on Wednesday night, which was great. I also stayed at dad's place so he and I had some time to catch up (we went out to coffee and lunch on Thursday too).

I went to the Tim Burton exhibition on Thursday night which was awesome!!!! and I got to spend some time with my Melbourne crew who I love to death. I also got some quality time with my friend Sue who lives in the UK and had come over for a visit.

The weekend was spent relaxing after the belly/nausea issues I had and that brings us to Monday.

This week needs to be a productive week for me. I have so much to do to get ready for the overseas move and I really need to get off my arse and start to do them. So this week I will:

- Call the garden man
- Call the real estate agents and start getting my house ready for renting
- Start packing some of my stuff
- Organsie my laptop situation

That will do for now. Anyway, better get to work... wish me luck!

Accountable Monday

So today I start this whole accountable Monday thing I said i'd do last entry.

Last Monday WI: 74.8kg

This Monday WI: 74.3kg

Loss: 0.5kg

Exercise: 2 X weights at the gym, 2 x exercise video weights, 2 x roller skating, 2 x jogging

I'm pretty happy with this week's numbers. I would have liked to fit in another jog but moreso because i'm trying to increase my fitness and improve in that area than for weight loss.

I went down to Melbourne for a couple of events this weekend and I had a function on Saturday night so i'm pretty impressed that I didn't just blow my entire 'good week' with one 'bad weekend'!

I kept my drinking to a minimum and drank for taste rather than 'effect', which shows some real control for me. ha.

Friday I went to the Victorian Burlesque Finals and boy are those women SEXY. Some amazing bodies and some even more amazing talent. I was so impressed. PLUS the quality of clothing and people watching the event gave me some great opportunities to view eye candy and people watch. Go here if you want to check out the finalists:

http://www.missburlesqueinternational.com/

I managed to stay away from the unhealthy food going around and munch on the muesli bar I had in my bag and aside from a yummy glass of champagne and some om nom nom-able Pear Cider I stayed away from the evils of 'drink'. Of course being designated driver helped with that.

Saturday was the 'Christmas in July' Hot Rod Charity event and for the first time in about 4 years I, as my friend Candy would say, 'got my boobs out'. This basically means I didn't wear a singlet/top under my dress. This is a pretty big deal for me because i'm so wary of showing skin; it's a lack of confidence thing. I wish I could properly describe the response I got from my female friends when they saw what I was wearing but instead I will just post some pictures.

This is me being all 'myspace' in the toilets at the event. I know it probably doesn't look like a lot of boob or a big deal but i've been hiding behind 'layers' for a really long time now so wearing this dress felt like a HUGE deal to me.

This is the only full length photo of me from the night. It was taken at the end when we went back to a friend's shed.

Note: Welcome to the Australian Country. I have a friend who lives in a shed... a big warehouse shed, but still... basically his loungeroom has half finished hot rods and tools all over the shop. Hence the silly photo of me with a lathe.

I, again, managed to be pretty good on Saturday night and then on Sunday I got up and did an exercise video.

It's the weekend that usually derails me so i'm pretty proud of myself this Monday. Thankyou will power.

Have a great day people!

xo

I gotta move it, move it...

So, exercise.

We have a love/hate relationship. I always say, if I could only feel the way I do AFTER a run/gym class BEFORE the run/gym class I would never skip a work-out!

My exercise schedule goes something like this:

Monday- Weights/Jog

Tuesday- Jog

Wednesday- Weights/Jog

Thursday- Jog

Friday- Weights

Saturday- Weights/Jog

Sunday- Whatever I feel like (sometimes nothing, sometimes... something)

To be honest, I usually end up missing one of these in there somewhere but I usually end up at least doing 3 X weights for the week and 3 or 4 X cardio.

I go to Curves because I like the 30min weight routine. It leaves me without a way to back out. I mean who can't spare 30mins a day? BUT if i'm not in the mood to be around people, or I just can't be bothered, I try to do a dvd at home. At the moment i'm loving the Jillian Michaels (of biggest loser fame) Frontside/backside work-out. It's broken up into six sections so you can really break it down and work hard in short burst PLUS I love anything that's 'interval training'.

I didn't always find exercise to be daunting or something I had to work at. I used to love it. Back in my skinny days I used to ride my bike for 40km just to save taking the train and then attend a swing dance class. I used to walk my dog before a soccer match and if another team needed a spare female player i'd be the first to put my hand up to play another game back to back.

I want to get back to that. I think that means that I need to 'find the fun' again... Since I live in the Country i'm out of luck in terms of my fave dance classes or indoor soccer BUT

I bought these:

*Note- mine don't look like this but my friend is going to help me paint them up and give them some attitude!

I've been skating a few times around the lake and in my friends warehouse. It's fun and doesn't feel like exercise but the Weight Watchers Exercise Tracker says it's grrrrrreat!

I'm hoping if I continue to skate I will eventually look like this:

* Taken from the movie 'Whip It'... which is all about Roller Derby and which I HEART big time!!

(isn't Ellen Paige awesome!)

Or this:

* This is a shot of a few gals from a Derby team... Look at that attitude, look at those snarls... LOOK AT THOSE LEGS!

I'm thinking I might need to look at doing a regular post on a Monday to make myself accountable and do the big divulge and fess up to how much exercise I did for the past week and how many days I stayed on points! Monday is also my weigh in day so that idea works pretty well.

Anyway, enjoy your weekend bloggers!

I'm a weight watchers gal...

A conversation with a friend from work got me thinking (a very dangerous thing for me to do) haha. I'm really not one to talk about my weight loss. I don't mind (read: Love) when people tell me i'm looking healthier/thinner etc but I start to get tetchy when they ask me if i'm 'trying' to lose weight or ask 'how i'm doing it'. I think this is for a few reasons:

A) I'm afraid to 'jinx' it. This is obviously an irrational fear!

B) I still, in part, feel terrible that I 'need' to lose weight again. I mean, once, fine! But i've done it once and allowed myself to put the weight on again and for that, I feel embarrassed.

C) and now, the biggest reason of all... I'm afraid to admit that i'm trying. If people know i'm trying then they'll also be able to tell if i'm failing. So am I giving myself an out? Am I allowing myself the leeway to go backwards in my weight loss. And if that IS what i'm doing, is that really the best thing for me...?

These are all pretty ridiculous fears. My friends have always loved me for who I am, no matter what size that is. They've never been embarrassed by me or ashamed to be out with me. In fact, they're brilliant and supportive and we all love each other to pieces.

So from now on when people ask if i'm trying to lose weight i'm going to say yes! I'm going to tell them that i'm following the weight watchers guidelines and I'm exercising at a healthy level.

I mean, what if one of these people is asking me because they have been thinking about changing their unhealthy habits and they want to know how? What if this person is looking for someone to understand that they are struggling too? Hell, what if the person is on Weight Watchers as well and we can gossip about points and snacks and share our triumphs!

Letting it all hang out

Since this is essentially going to be a blog about my weight loss, with a whole bunch of ‘yay, i’m moving across the pondage’ info chucked in, I figured I better begin with a fess up... a pictorial fess up that is.

I realised I was obese and unhappy back in 2005. Now really I was pretty blind to not realise until then because basically i’ve always been a slightly unhappy, slightly overweight girl... always! I was a chubby kid, a plump teenager and a ‘curvy’ (read: fat) twenty something. However things started to get worse and the weight started to pile on when I got into that old chesnut, ‘the comfortable relationship’. My partner and I got together when I was 20 (in 2002). I was probably about 70 Kg back then, not that I EVER weighed myself. I’d just always been a size 14-16 with big boobs and a big tushie. I was studying Nursing at Uni at the time and working at an Ice Cream Store (and yes, ‘a ha’, you would be right that DID NOT help! Can anyone say thick shake, cheesy hot dog and Ice cream... every Friday, Saturday and Sunday!) PLUS I was a drinker, boy was I a drinker... Some might say I was an alcoholic. I probably wouldn’t dispute that because I certainly had a problem (again, i’ll enlarge on this later, because otherwise tangential me will plod way of course and today’s blog is about weight!).

So, in this rut of a relationship (he really was a lovely guy but we did not motivate each other in the least, so this was an unhealthy relationship) I gained 28 KG. Then, in 2004, I found out my mother had terminal bowel cancer. My mother, who didn’t smoke, drink, didn’t drive and walked everywhere and had only been in hospital three times, to have her three children! I was in shock. As her treatments and surgery routine became more intense I decided to stop working and move back home to look after her. My boyfriend, with whom I was living at the time, was not hugely supportive of me or this decision. It was then I realised, we were just playing at this relationship, neither one of us brave enough to end it. So I asked him if he was happy, his answer was ‘I guess’. Wow, damned with faint praise. haha. So that day in February 2005, we said goodbye to the relationship and went our separate ways. I was crushed, not because the relationship was over but because I was a chain smoking, stressed girlie who was now 43kg overweight. What the hell did I have going for me now and would I ever find anyone else?

I handled my depression and loneliness by quitting smoking and replacing sleeping and eating with exercise! I’m lucky that I didn’t just revert to bad habits and cope by eating away my pain or things could have gotten drastically worse. I do not advocate beginning your weight loss journey the way I did. I was a very unhealthy girl for a long time. I would only sleep for a few hours a night. I’d wake up uber early and go to the gym. I wouldn’t socialise if there was any chance people would be eating and I ate like a mouse. Back in those days I would make 2 sushi hand rolls last an entire day. It wasn’t until I joined the gym and got some help from the staff and a close friend that I actually became healthy and made good lifestyle changes.

The day I decided to lose weight and weighed myself for the first time I was 98KG (that’s 215 pounds for those of you out there on the imperial system). I was huge! Unfortunately I don’t have any digital photos from this time. When I get a hold of a scanner i’ll be sure to show you the mayhem that was me back then!

I lost weight pretty consistently over about a year. By the time my mother passed away in February 2006, I was down around 58kg. This is the smallest I have ever been, and still is about 3 kg above what the BMI man says is the highest range of my ‘perfect weight’. At this weight I was a size 8-9 (in the Australian clothing system).

I kept the weight off for about a year before I started slowly creeping back on. When my family would mention that I was gaining slightly I would say things like, “i’m never going to allow myself to look like that again", or "it’s only a little weight, i’ll never be big like I was". But the fact is I did gain the weight back because I let go of all my healthy practices and allowed myself to gain. This is nobody’s fault but my own... All up, it took 3 years for 30kg to pile back on. So here I am now. I started my new journey into healthy life and weight loss at 87.4kg. It's been about 4 months on Weight Watchers now and I've lost 12.6kg to date. My most recent weigh in was 74.8. I'm terrified I'll fail this time, but also determined not too. Which is where blog world and all of those other motivational bloggers come into it. Currently I'm obsessed with reading 'Bitch Cakes: A neurotic Glamour Girls Weight Watchers Experience and Fitness Adventures' and 'Ok, Just one More Beer...'. These girls are Super Inspiring!

Okay, now comes the scary part. Here are some photos of the Me I am now and the skinny me that I was back then.

That's me in the middle... Would you look at that arm fat? And those knorks! ha. This was taken in late 2009. I would be about 87kg in this photo.

Same day, same hideous dress! I had hoped this dress would hide a multitude of sins. It didn't! These photos helped me decide it was time to get back on the bike, literally, or I was going to end up right back where I started.

Here's me in 2006 at my Cousins wedding. I was my lowest weight at this time. Approx 58Kg

And again in 2007, wearing a STUNNING 'Stop Staring' dress that I am determined to again fit into one day in the future! These were taken at my 25th Bday shindig and again I was 58kg.

So there you have it. A Mzlead stripped BARE. Now I better go quickly press 'Publish Post' before I lose my nerve...